THE ONE QUESTION THAT LOCKS US IN CONFLICT AND STRUGGLE

“If you’re a good choice maker, you can choose the best emotional responses and choose the best new life paths, forward and upward.” -Karen Salmansohn

When we’ve difficult situations before us, it’s common to feel victimized by circumstances. Many times we feel that life simply happens to us and that we can’t do anything. The reality is that we have two basic options. We can choose to turn our crisis into points of rupture or points of inflection.

The easiest option is to catalog the crisis as a breaking point. But this decision is also the most painful and the one that keeps us in the same place. Usually, when we are at this point, there’s a question that almost automatically pops up in our mind that doesn’t serve any useful purpose.

“Why?”

'why' is a question that locks us in conflict and struggle Click To Tweet

It’s normal to feel this way initially, but “why” is a question that locks us in conflict and struggle. It takes us down a spiral of victimhood.

“Why did this happen?”

“Why me?”

“Why now?”

It’s important to remember that we have another alternative; to see the crisis as a turning point. In other words, as a change of direction. When we see our crisis as a turning point we change the perception we have of the situation. At this stage, we become neutral observers of our own lives and instead of asking “why” we ask “what”.

What could be learned from this?

What should I do?

What’s the blessing in disguise?

What do I need to get through this?

What would be different if I could leverage my strengths and talents?

This option gives us the opportunity to access our inner wisdom, overcome our barriers, and move forward. It sets the ground for growth and a new beginning. This is when we stop fighting against our circumstances and begin to work in our healing process.

Bring curiosity to explore the unknown. Learn to embrace uncertainty as the pathway to opportunity and possibilities. “What” opens out our lives in a way that “why” never will.

 

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